Shalom!
After a 3rd injection into my shoulder, I finally am beginning to feel like a normal human being. Living w. pain is no picnic, and I am once again ever so thankful for improvement.
At times now, I am having an almost normal day without the extreme fatigue. But I am learning more and more to pace myself, and not to overdo it. Since I get up so very early automatically, I have learned to go to bed much much earlier, almost like a child does.
As life comes each day, how thankful I am to face another day and aim to speak to and surround myself with positive people, positive thoughts and keep my space far away from the negative ones in my life.
I wish every reader good vibes and feelings and the ability to cope w. what one must. I have adopted after much good readings and talks the following key words for me:
HOPE DIGNITY ACCEPTANCE REFUAH (HEALTHY RECOVERING) NATURE
At this point, I am adding on a prayer that I wrote for our cancer group as a personal prayer, other than that in our daily prayer books.
RIBBONO SHEL OLAM
Whatever/wherever You are
I thank You this moment
For this new day in which You star.
Nature-its beauty, its peace
I wonder in delight at the hope that it feeds.
My hopes start anew for a day filled with strength
To do good for us humans that You
Wondrously created throughout this whole long length.
Do help me to know how to use the skills that I have
And let me 'IN YOUR IMAGE' be a helping hand.
My challenges continue to be many
And I continue to turn to You anyway.
Bless us who are ill in spirit and body
And make our paths as light as You possibly can.
May your Refuah give us dignity and grace
As our unique journeys continue their pace.
I thank You again for this moment of renewal
May Your grace shine on all of Klal Yisrael.
'MIKOL HALAIV' I will try to be 'there'
Wherever and whenever to whomever I can.
We are made in Your 'image'
Help us to shine and not to do damage
To your beautiful world
Where mankind and creatures alike
Sing your praises both morning and night.
Good morning Hashem! Hallelujah!
As You shine Your peaceful presence
Help us to find some peace for our aching
Souls and frames
So that we too can lend a helping hand.
BOKER TOV WORLD-HOW HAPPY I AM TO SEE YOU AGAIN THIS DAY!
chaya bat Sara Bayla
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
MARCH 11-2011 PICKING ONESELF UP AGAIN
Shalom!
I remind any readers that I am basically writing this cancer blog for my journey. I know that the last entry was so 'down' in spirit, and I hope that it did not make anyone else feel 'down'. My fatigue and shoulder pain, I guess, sometimes/often do really get me down. And yet, I know and do feel so much thanks for coming thus far.
I hear good words, tips, suggestions, along the way basically from people involved with ailing clientele. These thoughts I am trying to add to my way of thinking: e.g. ACCEPTANCE, HOPE, DIGNITY, CHALLENGES, HOPE (ONCE AGAIN).
Life has so many ups and downs, and somehow, we have not been programmed to realize this. The fairy tale stories always have happy endings from my childhood. Reality of life , death, suffering, loss, pain, are not often talked about. And yet, it is all around us, and all the more shocking when we suddenly discover it around us.
So I wish for all of us here to not give up hope, to accept what we must, but to keep on trying to live with dignity and an up-lifted spirit as much as possible. For me, good friends, music, books, quiet, warmth in my spot to live, good food, all help me to feel positive.
I wish all of us a good frame of mind as we step along our journeys of life.
All the best,
chaya bat sara bayla
I remind any readers that I am basically writing this cancer blog for my journey. I know that the last entry was so 'down' in spirit, and I hope that it did not make anyone else feel 'down'. My fatigue and shoulder pain, I guess, sometimes/often do really get me down. And yet, I know and do feel so much thanks for coming thus far.
I hear good words, tips, suggestions, along the way basically from people involved with ailing clientele. These thoughts I am trying to add to my way of thinking: e.g. ACCEPTANCE, HOPE, DIGNITY, CHALLENGES, HOPE (ONCE AGAIN).
Life has so many ups and downs, and somehow, we have not been programmed to realize this. The fairy tale stories always have happy endings from my childhood. Reality of life , death, suffering, loss, pain, are not often talked about. And yet, it is all around us, and all the more shocking when we suddenly discover it around us.
So I wish for all of us here to not give up hope, to accept what we must, but to keep on trying to live with dignity and an up-lifted spirit as much as possible. For me, good friends, music, books, quiet, warmth in my spot to live, good food, all help me to feel positive.
I wish all of us a good frame of mind as we step along our journeys of life.
All the best,
chaya bat sara bayla
Monday, March 7, 2011
MARCH 7-11 ALONG THE CANCER JOURNEY
SHALOM!
A SHORT UPDATE AS I AM BACK TO MY FATIGUE AGAIN, AND NO PATIENCE TO TAKE THE TIME TO WRITE. I DO WHAT I CAN AND MUST, AND SIMPLY 'PETER OUT'. GOING TO THE HOSPITAL FOR THE CLEANING OF MY PORT, SETS ME BACK MENTALLY, ON SEEING THE PEOPLE AND THEIR SUFFERING FACES. THE WAITING IS SO LONG, AND I COME HOME DEPLETED EMOTIONALLY.
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY I AM SO EXHAUSTED, BUT EVEN WHEN I DO LIE DOWN, IT REALLY DOESN'T HELP. BUT THANK G. SO FAR, NO SIGN OF MORE CANCER. THIS WEEK I RETURN TO TEL HASHOMER TO HAVE MORE SHOTS INTO MY SHOULDER FROM THE CONSTANT PAIN, DUE, IT SEEMS, FROM THE CUTTING INTO MY LYMPH NODES DURING THE OPERATION. I KNOW THAT PAIN DOES TIRE YOU AS WELL. IMAGINE NOT BEING ABLE TO PUT ON A DRESS OR OTHER GARMENT THAT CLOSES IN THE BACK, NOT BEING ABLE TO EASILY CLOSE OR OPEN A CAR DOOR. THE SPRING MAKES ME FEEL SO WARM, BUT MY BODY STILL CRAVES THE 'COUCH' TO SIMPLY COLLAPSE. HOPEFULLY, THIS PORTION TODAY OF 'KVETCHING' WILL SOON DECREASE.
I HOPE THAT READERS OUT YONDER ARE DOING WELL AND STANDING UP TO LIFE'S CHALLENGE! I REMIND MYSELF THAT WE MUST HOPE AND BE THANKFUL FOR EVERY GOOD MOMENT OF BEING ALIVE, WITH A FRIEND, ENJOYING THE SUNSHINE, SHARING A MEAL WITH OTHERS. EACH DAY IS WHAT WE HAVE, AND BEYOND THAT WE NEED JUST TO HOPE.
UNTIL THE NEXT TIME,
BE WELL.
chaya bat sarah bayla
A SHORT UPDATE AS I AM BACK TO MY FATIGUE AGAIN, AND NO PATIENCE TO TAKE THE TIME TO WRITE. I DO WHAT I CAN AND MUST, AND SIMPLY 'PETER OUT'. GOING TO THE HOSPITAL FOR THE CLEANING OF MY PORT, SETS ME BACK MENTALLY, ON SEEING THE PEOPLE AND THEIR SUFFERING FACES. THE WAITING IS SO LONG, AND I COME HOME DEPLETED EMOTIONALLY.
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY I AM SO EXHAUSTED, BUT EVEN WHEN I DO LIE DOWN, IT REALLY DOESN'T HELP. BUT THANK G. SO FAR, NO SIGN OF MORE CANCER. THIS WEEK I RETURN TO TEL HASHOMER TO HAVE MORE SHOTS INTO MY SHOULDER FROM THE CONSTANT PAIN, DUE, IT SEEMS, FROM THE CUTTING INTO MY LYMPH NODES DURING THE OPERATION. I KNOW THAT PAIN DOES TIRE YOU AS WELL. IMAGINE NOT BEING ABLE TO PUT ON A DRESS OR OTHER GARMENT THAT CLOSES IN THE BACK, NOT BEING ABLE TO EASILY CLOSE OR OPEN A CAR DOOR. THE SPRING MAKES ME FEEL SO WARM, BUT MY BODY STILL CRAVES THE 'COUCH' TO SIMPLY COLLAPSE. HOPEFULLY, THIS PORTION TODAY OF 'KVETCHING' WILL SOON DECREASE.
I HOPE THAT READERS OUT YONDER ARE DOING WELL AND STANDING UP TO LIFE'S CHALLENGE! I REMIND MYSELF THAT WE MUST HOPE AND BE THANKFUL FOR EVERY GOOD MOMENT OF BEING ALIVE, WITH A FRIEND, ENJOYING THE SUNSHINE, SHARING A MEAL WITH OTHERS. EACH DAY IS WHAT WE HAVE, AND BEYOND THAT WE NEED JUST TO HOPE.
UNTIL THE NEXT TIME,
BE WELL.
chaya bat sarah bayla
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