MAY 27-11 ALONG MY CANCER JOURNEY

HELLO:

Wow, it has been quite a while since I last wrote a month ago. I do write in another section of my Gratitude Journal, and in my Thought section.
To catch myself up on my journey. I am thank G. doing o'kay so far. I had quite a fright with severe pain in my right jaw. My immediate real panic was that I have jaw cancer. The info on the internet truly scared me. A dentist ruled out a tooth problem. But slowly, slowly, the pain has diminished. I have to me somewhat careful what I bite on of hard substenance. Hopefully, another crisis over with.

I continue to go in regularly, every 2 months to have my 'port' cleaned. They will not remove it for at least 2 years. Now, in June, I have 2 appts. to check with both oncologist and my surgeon.

In my cancer group of study, it seems that I often mention how fatigued I am. Which I truly am, not at all like during the whole period post operation, mid chemo and radiation period. But never the less, I am always tired, always, always. My group leader tried psycho-drama on me. Now I am trying to use my thoughts to visualize-LET IT GO, LET IT GO~. Not to dwell on worries, possibilities, should haves, etc. I have for a long time, eliminated the should have, would have, could haves' in my thinking. But now I am adding on : LET IT GO, LET IT GO. Not to think and think, but to GO WITH THE FLOW. Perhaps my worrisome habit is helping to keep me tired so much. I am doing it, but still feel the tiredness. But it is a good road to stay on, non the less.

I had a birthday this week. Last year on my birthday, I was lying in Sharei Tzedek getting chemo. Now, I bless and continue to thank G. each minute that I am not there going thru' it at the moment. I feel so lucky. I hope that this positive period shall continue.

G. willing, if I get a clear o'kay from my 2 upcoming tests, I hope to travel (first in 2 years) to my place of birth to visit. It has been a long wait.

In the meantime, I wish any readers good health and good in your lives.
I pray daily for all who are unwell for a recovery, and for the strength to cope.