Along Our Ride on The Train of Life – February 2024
Shalom dear readers:
As I travel with you on this train of life, I find pleasure and solace by having the time to delve into many books
and ideas. Today, I will share with you a wonderful novel with many concepts
on aging, whether in our changing body, our mind, or our thoughts.
The name of this sad, but beautiful book is And
Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer And Longer by Fredrik Backman.
We, as the travelers on the train of life, deal
with many different issues, difficulties, and adaptations to changes that we
see, feel and fear. This book made a big impression on me, as I am also
grappling with forgetfulness of phone numbers or important vital facts.
The book starts off with a grandpa, a grandma and a grandson sitting on a bench, sharing
jokes, and discussing whatever comes to mind. It is here that they will learn to say their final goodbye,
with the scent of hyacinths in the air. For many
people, the fear of getting old is even
greater than the fear of dying. This tale
deals with a grandfather slowly losing
his great mind. He teaches that fear and love seem to go hand in hand most of the time. Grandpa
asks his wife, “While we still have time, how to I tell my grandson, Noah, that I may be leaving him
shortly? And my dearest wife, I
miss you already.”
Grandma tries to explain to her grandson, “When a
brain fades, it takes a long time for the body to realize.” Grandpa looks
at Noah and says, “When you grow up, I’ll be in space, my dear Noah.”
Eventually, Noah asks, “Are we here to learn how to say goodbye, Grandpa?” The
old man replies, “Yes, Noah, I’m afraid we are. See all these papers in front
of me. These are all my ideas, and they’re blowing away.” The boy wraps his
fingers tightly around his grandpa’s. Grandpa continues, “We know so little
about how the brain works. It’s like a fading star. When a star fades it takes
a long time for us to realize.”
“I think goodbyes are hard,” the boy admits. Grandpa
nods. “I’m bad at goodbyes,” says the boy. “Well, we have plenty of chances to
practice,” responds Grandpa. “Almost all adults regret not saying a goodbye
when they had a chance.”
“Why are you holding my hand so tightly, Grandpa?” Noah
whispers. “Because my life is disappearing, Noah, and I want to keep hold of
you longest of all,” answers Grandpa.
Later with his wife, Grandpa admits, “My memories
are running away from me, my love.” “I know you’re afraid,” Grandma answers. “Death
isn’t fair. It is like a low drum. It counts every beat. We can’t haggle with
it for more time.”
Grandpa says “Noah, promise me something, one very
last thing; once your goodbye is perfect, you have to leave me and not look
back. Live your life. It’s an awful thing to miss someone who’s still here.”
Later on Noah’s dad tells him, “We need to be
careful, with Grandpa. His brain is working slower than we’re used to. Slower
than Grandpa is used to.” One day Grandpa wakes up and says to Noah, “I don’t
know who you are.” Noah whispers while stroking his grandfather’s arm, “I’m Noah,
your grandson.” Grandpa asks, “How is school? Are your teachers better now?” Noah
answers, “Yes, Grandpa. The teachers are better. I’m one of them now.”
This novel touched me greatly. It is a gentle
introduction to my next main topic: dementia. Some of us may be presented with
dementia, and/or fear it. We need to come to terms with it and accept what is
happening in our mind and body.
G. Willing, until we meet again in March 2024.
CHW
