ALONG OUR TRAIN RIDE OF LIFE JUNE 1, 2022

ALONG OUR TRAIN RIDE OF LIFE JUNE 1, 2022

As I survey friends, neighbors, family members, all riding on this train of life, I see/feel that many of us are struggling to keep our spirits up, despite pressures and changes in our personal lives and in our communities. In this letter to you, I am suggesting several tips that I am trying to adapt, to cope with it all. Hopefully, several of these tips will spur all of us to infiltrate into our daily living. 

HOW TO BE HAPPY: HABITS FOR US TO ADD ON TO OUR ROUTINE IN LIFE

1. SMILE: to yourself, and to others. 

2. EXERCISE. At least 10 minutes a day, with a walk outside. Even walk by yourself and life in the children playing, in nature's beauty, a sunrise, a sunset, the blooming of so many beautiful flowers of all colors.

3. Get plenty of sleep. slow down before bed, with our television turned off, our phones off, dim the lights, and sink into a peaceful sleep, hopefully/

4. Be grateful- for everything you DO have; feel your gratefulness and elicit all the things that you are so grateful for, that are in your life today!

5. Give another person a compliment. That makes them feel good, and it also makes you feel terrific.

6. Breathe deeply. Let's teach ourselves to relax, to think positively, to unwind from our many demands.

7. Acknowledge your own 'unhappiness'. speak to a good friend. Describe it in your personal journal.

8. Keep a journal. I call mine 'MY BOOK OF ABUNDANCE'.  Every few days, I stop my race in life and sit down to elicit the various good people, happenings, feelings, that I have from so many sources.I do realize the YES, there are some very difficult moments in my life, but look how abundant many other factors are there for me.

9. Keep a 'GRATITUDE JOURNAL'. Perhaps you prefer to have a person to call, or to write to.

10. Plan your week. Knowing that you have a social outing in your planning, gives you a boost of morale.

11. Turn to nature! Enjoy the flowers blooming now all over, the tall trees that we have here in Israel, the chirping of birds, a lovely bench in the shade to sink into and 'just be!'

12. Try to meditate for 5 min. or more. Concentrate on all the blessings that you have, despite all the negatives. Relax and be mindful.

13. let's take care of our body. Treat yourself to a nourishing cream, an occasional massage or a manicure, pedicure.

14. LET GO OF GRUDGES! Yes, some people family members, et al may have been ride, insulted you, but breathe out and just be, despite their actions. Reach out to the wonderful people around you.

15. There are so many other good habits to add on to our routine of life. Let's help ourselves to better ourselves, both externally and internally.

I close with the PRAYER OF SERENITY, a constant reminder to me.

"G. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the tings I can, And, wisdom to know the difference."

Until we meet again next month, G. willing

CHW

 

 Shalom dear Readers: May 1, 2022

On our train ride of life, each of us is so pleased to be part of mankind. We try to enjoy special moments and the seemingly smooth ride. But... along comes a bump - a scare. With health issues of ourselves, and/or family members and/or friends, and the ride on this train of life becomes very very bumpy, one that we could not imagine in our worst of nightmares. C'est la vie? We can cry, we can scream out, but: IT IS WHAT IT IS.

How then can we pick ourselves up and think/say: 'IT IS WHAT IT IS'.-we must pull myself/ourselves together and adjust our mind into a new operational mode. We will cope, and adjust as we are yet on the train of life! 'MIND OVER MATTER'. I can forge ahead, build myself up from these negative thoughts. Reaching out to you, my readers, I will yet encourage us, despite life threatening illness, situations, and strive for all of us to yet enjoy riding on the train of life!

In Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's book entitled "Gateway to Happiness and Gateway to Self-knowledge", I want to share with you 3 or his suggestions: 

1. Accept what cannot be changed and try to make the best of it.

2. Instead of telling yourself how awful a situation is, tell yourself that although it may be difficult, you can still cope with it.

3. Think of difficult situations as a test and a challenge.

This month's entry has been a very difficult one to write and to express myself after the death of my daughter, Deena. Indeed, life must go on: yet we do never forget. I am the whole and the broken, the intact and the shattered. My heart is both whole and broken, as the Kotzker Rebbe taught: " The only whole heart is a broken one." We cannot live in this world, love, see its pain, lose those we love, and not have a broken heart. Things can and do break and fade and die. It is such through broken, that we find our way to G.  Each time we reach out, we take the chance of being  broken. Rabbi Alexandri in the Talmud taught: 'Human beings are ashamed when they use broken vessels, but G. seeks out broken vessels. As it is said: "G. is the healer of shattered Hearts" (Leviticus Rabbah 7:2).

Some of us may find art as therapy; others find comfort through faith and spiritual practices. Many find joy in their work and lifestyle, and practice a daily gratitude process, in mind and on paper. Concentrating on one's diet, exercising, more sleep, walking outside daily help to maintain some joy and order in our lives.

We all have l ow moments, for some unfortunately, more and longer than for others. Each of us has his own little 'peckele of tzores'. As a Talmudic rabbi pointed out so wisely, 'ein b'olom b'lee yesurim' -there is no man in this world without his share of private suffering - it is just then that we need to confront our difficulties head on and with faith. One can be depressed, overwhelmed, suffer illness, et al, but le's not give up on life, and not become bitter and disheartened. 'This too shall pass'.

I close with my best wishes for all of us. Hopefully, we will connect again in June. Let's pray for our country and for our brethren all over the world, and for all mankind.

CHW

ALONG THE TRAIN RIDE OF LIFE: MARCH, 2022

In the air, one feels the approach of Purim. Purim brings out our feelings of happiness, sadness, aloneness, our hope for us as a people, as a nation, as individuals in the midst of the Corona, Omicron, flu season, and with our challenge of being both physically and mentally challenged, in this month of  March, 2022.

It seems like a long winter for us. We are anxious, impatient to see and to feel flowers blooming, growing, to feel warmth in the air, to be part of any outing...or not. We are coping and learning -where do I fit in now, as I am, what can I still try to do while hampered physically, or mentally. We hope, hope, to live on and to continue, to use our minds well, to accept what we must...to find and/or make new parameters of happiness, despite.....

Hashem gives and Hashem takes, each of us, in his own time: how do we continue in our present framework, despite all, and do some good actions while on this earth?

some TIPS that I have adopted and suggest:

-let's walk for at least 10 min. a day, move our hands, feet, face, neck, even in bed.

-you and I need to hope to be able to create our new 'now'! We can't go back to what WAS. This is one lesson that I am coping with right now, and must stop the 'crying' and accept what I must.

What give you/me enjoyment? What worked for you today? How can we make it work, despite all?

Let's practice our breathing to relax, enjoy our cup of coffee or tea, enjoy our bathing ritual, enjoy a great book, watch a good movie, chuckle while we read some jokes, etc.

A great source of hope and happiness, comes to me from being in touch by phone, e mail, what's app, and/or telephone calls to our beloved friends and family who can fill our neshamas/our spirit with warmth and love.

In short, let's do what feels good for us, and avoid the actions and down feelings that don't do well for us!

I must add on here, let's pray for all our soul Jewish brethren caught in the terrible war going on right now, and pray that many lives will can be saved by our  Jewish brethren.

Until we meet again, G. willing, in April, I wish you all the best!

CHW

In short, let's do what feels good for us, and avoid the actions and down feelings that don't do well for us!

 ALONG OUR TRAIN RIDE OF LIFE: FEB. 2022

The greatest challenge is to have the courage to change those things which we can and should be changed, and the serenity of and to accept those which we cannot.

This passage is taken from THE SERENITY PRAYER by Reinold Niebuhr.

 

‘BIDUD’: ISOLATION

 

My feelings: not really happening to me; wow, time for me alone to be, to read, to rest, to not be dressed,-to stay in pajamas: time suddenly found to read, to eat, to rest, to think, to ponder, to watch and/or listen to the news, etc. – I have received a ‘present’ of time for me to use as I please! Not just what I MUST DO!  On the other hand,  I worry , as I do have quite a sniffle, and have tissues on hand everywhere I am in my home. TIME to think back about my parents and their end of life period, how they persevered, and did I really understand where they were at, or could I really understand the feelings of aging and facing medical issues and the prospect of dying hovering about? How I wish that I had the insight back then to understand better where my parents individually felt about their future and status. When I put on music that my mother loved, I cry as she cried way back then, ‘A YIDDISHE MAMMA’, I cried with my mother, about my mother, and how my own children somehow cannot understand how I and others of my age feel—apprehensive about what is/may come, and how we can  leave them and not know what lies in their future and be there with them to share in the good and the difficult times. Not to see my great grandchildren, let along my grandchildren graduate, get married, have babies. I WANT TO BE HERE through it all! But,  that’s  not the way the world works. We each have our time on earth, no matter how good we are-Hashem takes the best of us and the rest of us as well. Our time is LIMITED. I pray to be able to keep giving to others, by calling, by writing, by my prayers, by my visits-in person, by e mail, by zoom, by whatsapp, by my phone calls.

 

BIDUD tells me that whatever is, IT IS WHAT IT IS! G. bless us all within our time period of life allotted to us. I already long for and miss what I will eventually miss in my little world. G. BLESS us all!

 

PART 2:

HOW CAN WE STOP WORRYING and ACCEPT THE LOCKDOWN:

I know that each one of us must find our way of coping with this BIDUD situation. Some suggestions for all of us to ponder:

We can begin to appreciate our family more intensely, as many have tragically succumbed to the disease. We are beginning to understand that LIFE SHORT, AND MUST NEVER BE TAKEN FOR GRANTED.

 

Because of the lack of entertainment centers, we can learn to entertain ourselves by being creative. We can read more because we now have the time. We can write/draw more. We can choose to cook for ourselves, and can experiment with new dishes. We can ‘work out’ our own exercise regimes. One of the greatest joys come on Shabbat and Holidays. Once the clock is in SHABAT mode, SERENITY starts. We can pray at all times and not worry if we are falling behind as a chazzan chants on the bimah. We can sing, learn together, discuss issues without the thought of having to elsewhere on this precious day.

 

Perhaps this new world, with all its worries and anxieties is actually  G. giving us a GIFT OF TIME, to connect with Him more, to talk to Him! The less pressure to be here, there, everywhere, eases our time to connect and be with G.  We can ponder our purpose here on this planet-is this really a blessing for we humans, to learn simplicity in time and thought? I ask for all of us ’what and how can impact our attitude toward life and those we love? Maybe we should be embracing this lockdown and seek and find more serenity within our own borders of “home”. What can we do that we, in ‘normal’ times, we can find no time for e.g. pondering, relaxing, finding “time” to be creative-art hobby, cooking beyond the rush to put two items together, to read, and ponder the universe, to really enjoy your home, such as it is. You are within, somewhat protected, you can relax both mind and body and just ‘BE’! We can reach out to others, by phone, by fax, by e mail, and send out warm thoughts to the ‘other’. How good it is to send out our warmth and love and caring to others- I am always so pleasantly surprised and extremely warm and happy when I see their replies. G. bless us all as we face our present and future, with no guarantee of what will be, as in reality, without this pandemic, we don’t know what lies ahead individually and as a people in g.’s world, in 2022 and beyond.

G. bless all of us. Until we meet again in March, 2022.

CHW

ALONG THE TRAIN OF LIFE. JAN. 2022

 JANUARY, 2022  RESILIENCE

RESILIENCE 

We know that suffering is part of life; all human beings will and have tough times. I have tried to understand the meaning of 'resilience'. Here are some definitions.

1. Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats.

2. Resilience is the integrated adaptation of physical, mental and spiritual aspects in a set of 'good or bad' circumstances, a coherent sense of self.

3. Resilience is what gives people the psychological strength to cope with stress and hardship.

4. Resilience is the ability to adapt to difficult situations. When stress, adversity or trauma strikes, you still experience anger, grief and pain, but you are able to pick up and be able to be happy, successful, etc. after something difficult or bad has happened, despite the trauma.

In my personal life, I have had very close friends and acquaintances die recently. The loss is so very sad, hard and unbelievable. It makes death so much closer; is it my turn soon? With all the physical and mental issues that I have to deal with in my own life, is my death imminent? Thinking like that comes to me. BUT somehow, we pray that we still have some time on earth to somehow cope, live, carry on, despite the negatives and difficulties. Writing my monthly blog helps me and hopefully all of you readers. We are all on the train of life; some are boarding the train as we did as young children, adults, and some are getting off of the train as their time on earth is over. BUT while we live, let us be strong, resilient, happy as much as possible, and enjoy all that we  love - our families, our friends, our love of reading, or meeting a friend (during Corona Omicron, I dare not say meeting with many friends at once. )

Let us be GRATEFUL  for all the good that we have! let's be helpful, pleasant, and find the good wherever we can! Let us do GOOD to others where and when we can - a smile, an encouraging comments, a compliment... a phone call to dear ones close by and afar! A long distance call can lighten up the day to the one afar, showing that you care and are close by in heart and mind.

What is each one of us grateful for?

1.

2.

3.

Each one of us is encouraged to think and fill in for herself both mentally and written down as a reminder to ourselves, of what we are grateful for. We can thus reduce the grief in our minds and souls. It is a goal for each of us to strive for! Accept the GOOD in our lives, despite all the negatives!

Until we meet again, G. willing, in Feb. 2022, G. bless us all in our ride on the train life!

CHW

 

 

ALONG OUR TRAIN RIDE OF LIFE: DECEMBER, 2021

As we are presently in the atmosphere of Chanukah , I know that for many of us, it may be quite emotional and difficult, despite the lights all around us, the getting together of family/friends, and yet, some/many of us find it quite difficult to ‘cheer up’ and smile despite all.

And so, my blog at this time will be to share with us all a message from Louise L. Hay, whose poster hangs in my office, and reading it once again, made me decide to quote her message entitled:

‘HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF’

1.    STOP ALL CRITICISM. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself as you are. When you criticize yourself, your charges are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

 

2.    DON’T SCARE YOURSELF. Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure – e.g. yellow roses, and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

 

3.    . BE GENTLE AND KIND AND PATIENT. Be gentle with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really love.

 

4.    BE KIND TO YOUR MIND. Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

 

5.    PRAISE YOURSELF. Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

 

6.    SUPPORT YOURSELF. Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

 

7.    BE LOVING TO YOUR NEGATIVES. Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.

 

8.    TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY. Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercises. What kind can you do and enjoy right now? Cherish the temple that you live in.

 

9.    MIRROR WORK.  Look into your eyes often. Express this love you have for yourself. Talk to your parents/family while looking into the mirror. Forgive them too. At least once a day say: “I love you, I really love you.”

 

10.                    DO IT NOW. Don’t wait until you get well, or get the new job, the new relationship. Begin now-DO THE BEST YOU CAN.

 

I PRAY FOR ALL OF US: IN SPITE OF EVERYTHINGS, SAY

‘YES’ TO LIFE!  Until we meet again in Jan. 2022, G. willing,

CHW

 

ALONG OUR RIDE ON THE TRAIN OF LIFE, NOVEMBER, 2021

 

 

ALONG OUR RIDE ON THE TRAIN OF LIFE, NOVEMBER, 2021

 

Shalom dear Readers:

As I ride on the train of life, I am aware of my fears and worries, and, as well, thankfully, of my goal of awareness, inner peace, and positive actions.

As the writer of my blog,  I am trying to help both myself and all readers of my blog, as we all cope with our issues in life.

 

FEAR

We are advised not to be AFRAID. Life is incredibly precious and we don’t get the minutes back. So let’s see if we can change from:

“I will be happy when…..into I am GRATEFUL now because…..

 

Fear does not stop death.  It stops life!

And WORRYING does not take away tomorrow’s trouble. It takes away today’s PEACE.

 

From Rebbe Nachman Breslev we learn that:

‘MAN HAS TO PASS OVER A VERY VERY NARROW BRIDGE.” The main principle in general is to NOT BE AFRAID.

 

The sages ask us to shine a light on the POSITIVE things that we see around us and to focus on those. When we examine ourselves, our family members, and our environment-not through a critical prism, but by focusing on the good points.

 

A Chasidic saying tells us: “THING GOOD AND IT WILL BE GOOD.” Our thoughts influence, if not determine our reality.

 

AWARENESS: “Awareness is the greatest agent for change, “ says Eckhart Tolle. 

 

Hopefully, by practicing and following some or all of these tips, we can find some INNER PEACE. Our attitude determines our happiness and fulfillment. Habits create success. TIME is our great treasure in life!

 

While we go through our own personal trials of life, hopefully, we can try to help ourselves with some/all of these ideas and suggestions.

 

G. willing, we will meet again in December. I wish for all or us a Refuah Shlaima, both physically and mentally.

CHW

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