Along Our Ride on The Train of Life – March 2024

Shalom dear readers:

 

As I mentioned on my last column, I wanted to know more about Dementia, to help myself and all of us as we ride on our train of life. People with dementia experience a range of symptoms related to changes in thinking, remembering, reasoning, and behavior. Living with dementia presents unique challenges, but there are steps you can take to help now and in the future.

 

TIPS FOR EVERY TASKS FOR PEOPLE LIVING WITH DEMENTIA

Alzheimer’s disease and related dementia get worse over time. Even simple everyday activities can become difficult to complete. To help cope with changes in memory and thinking, consider strategies that can make daily tasks easier. Try to adopt them early on so you will have more time to adjust. You can:

·       Write down to-do lists, appointments, and events in a notebook or calendar.

·       Set up automated bill payments and consider asking someone you trust to help manage your finances.

·       Have your groceries delivered.

·       Manage your medications with a weekly pillbox, a pillbox with reminders (like an alarm), or a medication dispenser.

·       Ask your doctor to provide a care plan and write down care directions (or have a family member or friend take notes during the visit).

 

SLEEP TIPS FOR PEOPLE LIVING WITH DEMENTIA

Dementia often changes a person’s sleeping habits. You may sleep a lot, or not enough, and wake up many times during the night. Poor sleep quality can make dementia symptoms worse. You can:

·       Follow a regular schedule by going to sleep and getting up at the same time each day, even on weekends or when traveling.

·       Develop a relaxing bedtime routine with lowered lights, cool temperature, and no electronic screens.

·       Avoid caffeine and naps late in the day.

·       Have a lamp that’s easy to reach and turn on, a nightlight in the hallway or bathroom, and a flashlight nearby.

·       Keep a telephone with emergency numbers by your bed.

·       Talk to your doctor if you have problems sleeping.

 

HEALTHY AND ACTIVE LIFESTYLE TIPS FOR PEOPLE LIVING WITH DEMENTIA

Participating in activities you enjoy and getting exercise may help you feel better, stay social, maintain a healthy weight, and have regulate sleep habits.

Here are some tips for a healthy and active lifestyle:

·       Try to be physically active for at least 30 minutes on most or all days of the week. But be realistic about how much activity you can do at one time. Several short “mini workouts” may be best.

·       Aim for a mix of exercise types – endurance, strength, balance, and flexibility. For example, you could do a mix of walking or dancing, lifting weights, standing on one foot, and stretching. Even everyday activities like household chores and gardening help you stay active.

·       Your diet may need to change as dementia progresses to maintain a healthy weight. Talk to your doctor about the best diet for you, and choose nutritious foods such as fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and lean sources of protein and dairy products. Avoid added sugars, saturated fats, and sodium.

·       Stay social by talking on the phone with family and friends, joining an online support group, or going for a walk in your neighborhood.

 

FINDING CARE AND SUPPORT: TIPS FOR PEOPLE LIVING WITH DEMENTIA 

Many people may be able to help in different ways. These people might include family members, professional caregivers, community organizations, and others with dementia. For example, you can:

·       Ask friends or family to help with needs like cooking, paying bills, transportation, or shopping.

·       If you live alone, find people you trust who can visit often.

·       Consider letting trusted neighbors know of your diagnosis so they can help if needed.

·       Use social service agencies, local nonprofits, and Area Agencies on Ageing to connect with in-home help, transportation, meals and other services.

 

SAFETY TIPS FOR PEOPLE LIVING WITH DEMENTIA

Carry identification with you in case you get lost or need help. If you drive, talk with your doctor about changes in your driving and take seriously family and friends who express concerns. Make minor changes in the home to create a safer environment to prevent falls and injuries. Good balance, a habit of standing up slowly, and non-skid shoes can also help prevent falls. You can:

·       Simplify the amount and layout of furniture and remove small rugs.

·       have a sturdy handrail on stairways.

·       Make sure smoke and carbon monoxide detectors are installed in or near the kitchen and in all bedrooms.

·       Install an automatic shut-off switch on the stove and set the water heater temperature limit to 120 F to avoid burns.

·       Consider safety devices, like fall monitors and emergency call buttons.

 

PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE: TIPS FOR PEOPLE WITH DEMENTIA

As much as you might want to put off difficult decisions about the future, now is the time to think about health and finances to make sure you have a say and are prepared. Start discussions early with your family members while everyone can still help make decisions together. There are several areas you will want to consider, including legal and financial matters, and options for in-home care, long-term care, and funeral and burial arrangements.

G. willing, until we meet again in April 2024.

CHW

 

Along Our Ride on The Train of Life – February 2024

Shalom dear readers:

 

As I travel with you on this train of life, I find pleasure and solace by having the time to delve into many books and ideas.  Today, I will share with you a wonderful novel with many concepts on aging, whether in our changing body, our mind, or our thoughts.

 

The name of this sad, but beautiful book is And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer And Longer by Fredrik Backman.

 

We, as the travelers on the train of life, deal with many different issues, difficulties, and adaptations to changes that we see, feel and fear. This book made a big impression on me, as I am also grappling with forgetfulness of phone numbers or important vital facts.

 

The book starts off with a grandpa, a grandma and a grandson sitting on a bench, sharing jokes, and discussing whatever comes to mind. It is here that they will learn to say their final goodbye, with the scent of hyacinths in the air. For many people, the fear of getting old is even greater than the fear of dying. This tale deals with a grandfather slowly losing his great mind. He teaches that fear and love seem to go hand in hand most of the time. Grandpa asks his wife, “While we still have time, how to I tell my grandson, Noah, that I may be leaving him shortly? And my dearest wife, I miss you already.”

 

Grandma tries to explain to her grandson, “When a brain fades, it takes a long time for the body to realize.”  Grandpa looks at Noah and says, “When you grow up, I’ll be in space, my dear Noah.”  Eventually, Noah asks, “Are we here to learn how to say goodbye, Grandpa?” The old man replies, “Yes, Noah, I’m afraid we are. See all these papers in front of me. These are all my ideas, and they’re blowing away.” The boy wraps his fingers tightly around his grandpa’s. Grandpa continues, “We know so little about how the brain works. It’s like a fading star. When a star fades it takes a long time for us to realize.”

 

“I think goodbyes are hard,” the boy admits. Grandpa nods. “I’m bad at goodbyes,” says the boy. “Well, we have plenty of chances to practice,” responds Grandpa. “Almost all adults regret not saying a goodbye when they had a chance.”

“Why are you holding my hand so tightly, Grandpa?” Noah whispers. “Because my life is disappearing, Noah, and I want to keep hold of you longest of all,” answers Grandpa.

 

Later with his wife, Grandpa admits, “My memories are running away from me, my love.” “I know you’re afraid,” Grandma answers. “Death isn’t fair. It is like a low drum. It counts every beat. We can’t haggle with it for more time.”

 

Grandpa says “Noah, promise me something, one very last thing; once your goodbye is perfect, you have to leave me and not look back. Live your life. It’s an awful thing to miss someone who’s still here.”

 

Later on Noah’s dad tells him, “We need to be careful, with Grandpa. His brain is working slower than we’re used to. Slower than Grandpa is used to.” One day Grandpa wakes up and says to Noah, “I don’t know who you are.” Noah whispers while stroking his grandfather’s arm, “I’m Noah, your grandson.” Grandpa asks, “How is school? Are your teachers better now?” Noah answers, “Yes, Grandpa. The teachers are better. I’m one of them now.”

 

This novel touched me greatly. It is a gentle introduction to my next main topic: dementia. Some of us may be presented with dementia, and/or fear it. We need to come to terms with it and accept what is happening in our mind and body.

 

G. Willing, until we meet again in March 2024.

CHW

 

 

 

 

 

 

Along Our Train Ride of Life - January 2024

Shalom Dear Readers,

One of my treasures from my past life in Canada is a most beautiful painting done by my beloved cousin based on Vincent van Gogh’s famous Sunflowers. The walls of my Israeli home are mainly filled with photos of family weddings and celebrations, and the painting of sunflowers has been lying in a corner. However, I finally found a visible place in my room after so long. The memory of dried sunflower plants that were once on the floor of my three-story home in Canada still call out to me constantly. I have only come to understand their meaning now, “INNER PEACE”. My wonderful helper, Melody, brought me a gift recently: some live sunflowers, as they are on sale all over Israel now as a sign of inner peace, of HOPE.

Viktor E. Frankl, in “Man's Search for Meaning”, writes: “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

The flowers of Van Gogh convey the heartbreaking splendor of something he did not experience: INNER PEACE. In the noise of the war surrounding him, he prayed and meditated.

 A.J. Heschel, said: “In doing the finite, we perceive the infinite.” This is the holy task of HALACHIC LIVING.  “Every deed counts; every word is power. Above all, remember that you must build your life as if it were a work of art.”

Our Jewish tradition teaches us that all the riches of this world are worth nothing compared to one hour of enlightened consciousness (Mishna Avot 4:22).

My wish and prayer for all of us at this time is to see the Van Gogh’s sunflowers as conveying the heartbreaking splendor of inner peace.

May we find inner and outer strength in our peoplehood and in ourselves, and let the shining power of the sunflower help us to find inner peace.

Until we meet again in Feb. 2024, G. willing

CHW

 

 

Along Our Ride on The Train of Life – December 2023

Shalom dear readers:

Here are some tips that I am trying to use with coping skills to adapt to our reality now as we travel together on our train ride of life.

 

·      Try to focus on basic functions. No need to keep your house perfect at all times. Your home is meant to care for you, not the other way around. 

·      Minimize your daily tasks to avoid becoming overwhelmed. Keep your goals simple: nourishment and cleanliness.

·      Avoid focusing on news and videos. They can negatively impact your mental health.

·      Relinquish guilt about trivial issues. Address your personal struggles with dignity and self-compassion.

·      Foster relationships where there is reciprocal support, positivity, and emotional safety. Associating with supportive people will help with the healing process.

·      Daven, recite daily Tehillim, and strengthen your Emunah. Conduct yourself with “menshkite” as you reach out to children, to peers, or to neighbors.

·      Take care of your soul by using meditation, mindfulness, or deep breathing exercises, or by listening to calming music.

·      Try to stay POSITIVE, and to focus on things that bring joy and happiness.

·      Help those around us to be calm. Doing acts of kindness for others is part of the healing process.

·      Don’t over plan; live day by day.

 

Remember: The Jewish people are RESILIENT and have lived through many ordeals. We pick ourselves up and continue on under Hashem’s guidance.

 

I close with the famous Serenity Prayer; “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

 

G. willing, until we meet again in January 2024.

CHW

 

 

 

ALONG OUR TRAIN RIDE OF LIFE - November 2023

Shalom dear readers:

This month let’s focus on how we can help ourselves during this stressful time. Here are some helpful tips to control our stress:

·       Maintain a program of healthy eating and adequate sleep. You might not feel like it, but exercise anyway. Exercise not only promotes physical fitness, but also contributes to emotional well-being. Going out for a walk makes such a difference.

·       Balance work and play. No play can make you feel stressed. Plan some time for recreation to de-stress.

·       Allow yourself to cry. Tears can help cleanse the body of substances that accumulate under stress and release a natural pain-relieving substance from the brain. There is nothing wrong with a good cry and you won’t be the only one!

·       Take a warm shower or bath. This will soothe your nerves and relax your muscles.

·       Talk out your troubles. It helps to talk with a friend, relative, or rabbi. Another person can help you see a problem from a different point of view.

·       Modify your environment to limit your exposure to things that cause stress whenever possible. So, you can check on the news from time to time and stay abreast of the situation but try not to be glued to it.

·       Try to develop and maintain a positive, optimistic attitude, as difficult as that might be right now.

·       Relax with music, art, journaling, or prayer. These are good ways to decompress. Turning to Tehillim or prayer books has been a source for centuries, whether studying alone or in groups online.

·       Indulge in special treats. Food may not make the stress go away, but it may reduce negative health effects that are highly associated with chronic stress, including depression, anxiety, insomnia and other diseases. Recent research shows that eating has a pronounced effect on mood. Eating may be excessive during these stressful times, but please remember that food, though essential for nutrition, does not solve other problems! If and when you feel the need to treat yourself to a bit of a dessert, keep in mind to set limits.

·       Control your habits and don’t waste time. It will add hours to your day, days to your year and years to your life.

Let’s not wait for a chance to improve. We can make some needed changes for overcoming and coping with this stressful time, as a nation under siege, or as individuals coping with life.

Until we meet again, in December, G. willing.

CHW