Shalom!
Time, the great equalizer perhaps, the passage of time eases, soothes, stretches on, goes so quickly, continues to plague us-so many different interpretations of this concept of time.
All I know is that almost exactly to the year since I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I can finally say that I feel somewhat like a normal human being. Fear is always lurking re the unknown, fatigue is a part of me constantly minus the sudden waves of fatigue hitting at me non-stop, but I am functioning more or less normally again.
The release of knowing that this pain of the last 4 months is from A rotator cuff impingement and adhesive capsulitis and not from cancer itself. The terms sound scary, but so far the 2 injections have helped, I am getting proper physio for this ailment. I hope that all the blood work and body bone scan will come out o'kay. It seems that although I feel more normal, I am constantly being tested and checked and running to doctors and/or tests. But thankfully, I am being monitored.
How does cancer change you, improve you, defeat you? Well, I saw such a change in my attitude this past week, when I had planned a 3 day get away to a resort with sessions on good health taking place. This was to be my first venture out of my cancer world of the past year. Not only that, but I was going alone, knowing no one, and not sharing a room with anyone (a first for me).
To make a long story short, I gave my dog to a pension, and with all my nervousness before a trip (I am always tense before leaving my home and security for any length of time), went to the meeting place to only find out that the trip had been cancelled and that I had not been notified.
I was certainly angry at the mismanagement of the organization, but soon after I returned home, thinking, that after all that I have gone thru' this past year, I can't overreact. It just isn't worth my being upset. And so I used my time to finish other things and proceeded on with my life. This is not how I would have reacted before my illness. I would have stayed upset for a long time and more emotionally angry. but now... I just let it flow.
Anyways, c'est la vie. Life has and is going to have its flow upwards and most certainly downwards all along this journey of life.
I wish all of any readers good health and good moments of happiness., and an easy flow thru' life's journey.
Bye for now.
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