FROM THE RUMBLING CHAOTIC STORM WITHIN ME, TO A BREAK OF SUNSHINE AND SOME REAL EATING AND LIVING-JAN. 18-10

With the start of chemo plus the injection 2 days later, I could barely eat, let alone function. But I did somehow manage to teach, some light exercise and act like I was one of the civilized 'normal' healthy beings. But I subsisted on a touch of soup and a cracker if possible. I could not then imagine continuing on like this. I had the choice of this extra injection to really doubly attack the cancer within and also shorten the whole chemo period. By providence's miracle of miracles, by Fri. nite, Shabat, I went with my son to eat at neighbors whom I very much like. Somehow, I started to eat with the family, and even enjoyed it. I had never eaten this much in over a week. Shabat day was sunny, lovely, and although I could not stay long in services as I keep falling asleep and abhor huge crowds now (fear of catching other's illnesses), I very much enjoyed the lunch Sabbat meal with other friends. My body though kept calling me back to rest, rest, rest, which I do now more than ever. Hard to believe it is me. And so with this week 'free' from treatments, I am able to eat more (although quite often nauseous and need a pill to relieve that feeling). A stupid, lovely movie and a bowl of soup w. my dear cousin helped me feel less 'down' yesterday. And so, with this respite of a week, I will try to accept the next hard week to come with its violent aftermath. Perhaps, second time round, it will be less horrendous. Who knows? I keep remembering to be thankful that it is only breast cancer and hopefully contained. My hair has not fallen out yet, altho' I did go to get fitted for my new head covering.

I think I have rambled on enough. With all of the above, I am so thankful to be here, alive, surrounded with loving people who care and don't desert me with my 'kvetchiness'. Again, I thank any and all of my readers for their good prayers and wishes. I pray for many other sick people and for all the misfortunate souls in the world.
It is now the month of Shvat-new blossoms coming out, now some rain finally. Nature continues its course in life, birth and death. Somehow we or I have to learn that it is all part of 'the plan'.
Until next time, enjoy, enjoy and work on being healthy and thankful, I tell myself and wish for you all.