Today, before my new series #3 of chemotherapy, I treated myself to the movie INVICTUS, the story of Nelson Mandela. I highly recommend it. In it, Mandela reveals that while in prison he read and was influenced by a poem called Invictus, where the last 2 lines read:
I am the captain of my fate
I am the master of my soul.
This week-end I reread a book that I bought years ago, since I have been for so long thinking and searching for answers to the prospect of man dying. Rereading 'Staring at the sun: overcoming the Dread of Death', by Irvin D. Yalom, helped me to understand that we are all of us mortal human beings, with a beginning and an end. Somehow, I believe that we, at least I, find this a far off thing that only happens to other people, or very old or sick people. We tend to push these thoughts far away from our conscious thinking. Now, knowing that I have a form of cancer, a most dreaded disease, I have had to come to terms with the fact, that yes, I as all beings, had a beginning, a blossoming growing, producing stage, and do face my mortality. None of us 'healthy' souls know when our time on earth is to cease. It is simply unthinkable!
This poem Mandela refers to, which impressed him enough to pass it on to another leader in the movie, is worth reading. You can look it up through Google. But I believe a little differently:
we are not really the captains of our fate-we can dare to steer our life in certain directions, but it is far from our ultimate control.
But to be the master of our soul-that is possible. We can live whatever length of life we have with happiness and joy, trying to do the most for ourselves, for others, for this planet, for our youth, for our families. We can have difficult trying times physically and mentally, but we need to nourish and flourish our souls. That we are the masters of. Perhaps that is why I seem to be so bent on expressing my gratitude when I meet such nice people, and share good moments. Maybe I am realizing the passage of time for me, and want to fully live each moment with my soul full, as if to ward off the bad and inevitable end as fate will decree at some point in time.
So dear readers, if you are struggling, as I am, there is a fate for all of us, but while alive, we must help our soul to be complete and to live and yes, to enjoy whatever and whenever we can.
I hope my writing here doesn't sound too much like a preacher. I am writing this blog for me, and if you are reading it, you take the risk of liking it or not.
Bye again for now.
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