SHALOM!
AS I WROTE LAST TIME, WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES! PERHAPS THAT IS WHY WE CONSTANTLY SAY; 'THANK G." FOR EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY.
MY VISIT TO 'HALLA' CENTRE LEFT ME TOTALLY SHELL SHOCKED! THE DR., WHO WAS SIMPLY EXCELLENT AND CARING, FOUND NOT THE ONE 'GUSH' AS WAS FOUND 3 WEEKS AGO, BUT 3 MASSES ON THE SAME SIDE THAT WAS OPERATED ON, AND THUS I FOUND MYSELF HAVING ON THE SPOT, 3 DIFFERENT BIOPSIES. TRYING VERY HARD NOT TO CRY, I JUST HELD ON TO MYSELF, AND WEATHERED IT. I THINK I HAD 3 MAMMOGRAMS AND ULTRA SOUNDS OVER AND OVER, AND NOW I MUST DO A BIOPSY ON THE LEFT SIDE. I TOLD HIM THAT I AM ALMOST READY TO JUST HAVE A MASECTOMY. BUT THAT IS JUST TALK FOR NOW. I MUST AWAIT THE RESULTS-GO ELSEWHERE TO DO THIS 4TH BIOPSY.
SO IF OUT THERE CAN IDENTIFY WITH ME, THE FEAR, THE PANIC, THE FACING OF DEATH ALL SOUND OUT LOUD AND CLEAR. BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, ONE KEEPS ON LIVING, DOING, HOPING, AND PUSHING IT ALL ASIDE. SURELY IT WILL ALL BE JUST SOME FIBRE GROWTH AND NOTHING MORE.
AND AM I DOING ANYTHING TO PREPARE FOR THE WORST? SIMPLY NO. I USE ALL MY ENERGY TO CONTINUE TEACHING PART-TIME, EXERCISING, WATCHING MY HEALTHY HABITS, FINDING PLEASURE IN READING, SEEING FRIENDS, EATING OUT, AND GETTING MORE REST, WHICH I TRULY LACK. THAT TAKES ALL MY ENERGY.
AND SO, TODAY, AS ON ALL DAYS, I WISH YOU AND ME, GOOD PROGRESS, GOOD RESULTS, HOPE AND OPTIMISM, THAT WE WILL LIVE AND SURVIVE AND ENDURE AND BE ABLE TO COPE WITH WHAT IS ON OUR LIFE PLAN.
I SEND YOU AND ME WARM HUGS AND WISHES.
UNTIL THE NEXT TIME.....
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Friday, December 30, 2011
DEC. 30-2011 WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES
HELLO ONCE AGAIN:
WELL, A MONTH HAS PASSED SINCE I LAST WROTE. SOMEHOW I DON'T FIND THE TIME TO SIT AND WRITE IN MY BLOG. WHEN I DO WRITE, I WRITE MY OWN POEMS AND PRAYERS IN BOTH HEBREW AND ENGLISH, AND WORK ON PROCESSING QUESTIONS FROM MY BIBLE STUDY COURSE.
BUT I FEEL I MUST RETURN TO THIS BLOG PERIODICALLY TO KEEP ABREAST OF MYSELF. THE CHRONIC UTICARA, WHICH I HAVE, GAVE ME 3 MONTHS OF GREAT DISCOMFORT. HOPEFULLY, IT IS ALMOST SOLVED, THRU' MANY DIFFERENT DRUGS. BUT IT APPEARS THAT MY IMMUNE SYSTEM IS VERY LOW, ATTRIBUTED BY MY ALLERGY SPECIALISTS AS A REACTION TO THE CHEMOTHERAPY AND RADIATION AND ALL THAT THIS ENTAILED. I KEEP TRYING TO EAT HEALTHY IMMUNE BOOSTING FOODS, WHICH I DID ANYWAYS ALL ALONG. MY FATIGUE APPARENTLY IS PARTLY CAUSED BY THE LOW FUNCTIONING IMMUNE SOURCES. IT SEEMS LIKE A VICIOUS CIRCLE.
AFTER MY RECENT MAMMOGRAM WHICH THANK G. SHOWED ALL O'KAY, I HAD AN ULTRA SOUND WHICH AT THIS POINT IS A CONSTANT FOR ME. THE RADIOLOGIST FOUND SOMETHING 'SUSPICIOUS' IN THE SAME BREAST AND TALKED ABOUT A BIOPSY. I WAS TOTALLY STUNNED!
BUT HE WENT BACK TO THE COMPUTER IMAGING OF MY OPERATION TIME IN NOV. 09, SAW THAT THEN THEY HAD SEEN A FIBREDENOMA. PERHAPS THIS WAS THE SAME THING? HAD IT GROWN? HE DECIDED TO LET ME WAIT 3 MONTHS AND THEN DO THE PROCEDURE AGAIN, AND THEN DO A BIOPSY IF HE SAW GROWTH CHANGES.
BOTH MY GENERAL DOCTOR, AND MY ONCOLOGIST, AND MY SURGEON, FELT WE NEED TO LOOK FURTHER NOW. SO I AM GETTING A SECOND OPINION NEXT WEEK AT 'HALLA' CENTRE, AND THEN IF THE TOP RADIOLOGIST THERE FELT IT IS NEEDED, HE WILL DO A BIOPSY ON THE SPOT.
ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT ALL THE FEARS, WORRIES, ARE BACK IN FULL FORCE. I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO PUT OUT THE 3,000 SHEKELS APPROX. AS MY KUPAH IS NOT COVERED. AFTER A BIT OF SOUL SEARCHING, I DECIDED I AM WORTH IT. SO I SAY TO MYSELF AGAIN-LIVE NOW THE BEST YOU CAN. I KNOW THAT EVENTUALLY, AND NOT TOO SOON AN EVENTUAL, I WILL LEAVE THIS PLACE, BUT I WANT TO LIVE AND SEE MORE GOOD THINGS IN THE FAMILY AND AROUND ME.
SOME ILLNESSES COME AND GO. BUT IN OTHERS, LIKE HEART PROBLEMS, CANCER, ETC., THE FEAR LINGERS ON WHETHER SURFACING OR NOT.
I PRAY FOR ALL OF US IN THIS SHIP, FOR COURAGE TO DEAL WITH IT ALL, AND HOPE ABOVE ALL.
G. BLESS
UNTIL THE NEXT TIME.
WELL, A MONTH HAS PASSED SINCE I LAST WROTE. SOMEHOW I DON'T FIND THE TIME TO SIT AND WRITE IN MY BLOG. WHEN I DO WRITE, I WRITE MY OWN POEMS AND PRAYERS IN BOTH HEBREW AND ENGLISH, AND WORK ON PROCESSING QUESTIONS FROM MY BIBLE STUDY COURSE.
BUT I FEEL I MUST RETURN TO THIS BLOG PERIODICALLY TO KEEP ABREAST OF MYSELF. THE CHRONIC UTICARA, WHICH I HAVE, GAVE ME 3 MONTHS OF GREAT DISCOMFORT. HOPEFULLY, IT IS ALMOST SOLVED, THRU' MANY DIFFERENT DRUGS. BUT IT APPEARS THAT MY IMMUNE SYSTEM IS VERY LOW, ATTRIBUTED BY MY ALLERGY SPECIALISTS AS A REACTION TO THE CHEMOTHERAPY AND RADIATION AND ALL THAT THIS ENTAILED. I KEEP TRYING TO EAT HEALTHY IMMUNE BOOSTING FOODS, WHICH I DID ANYWAYS ALL ALONG. MY FATIGUE APPARENTLY IS PARTLY CAUSED BY THE LOW FUNCTIONING IMMUNE SOURCES. IT SEEMS LIKE A VICIOUS CIRCLE.
AFTER MY RECENT MAMMOGRAM WHICH THANK G. SHOWED ALL O'KAY, I HAD AN ULTRA SOUND WHICH AT THIS POINT IS A CONSTANT FOR ME. THE RADIOLOGIST FOUND SOMETHING 'SUSPICIOUS' IN THE SAME BREAST AND TALKED ABOUT A BIOPSY. I WAS TOTALLY STUNNED!
BUT HE WENT BACK TO THE COMPUTER IMAGING OF MY OPERATION TIME IN NOV. 09, SAW THAT THEN THEY HAD SEEN A FIBREDENOMA. PERHAPS THIS WAS THE SAME THING? HAD IT GROWN? HE DECIDED TO LET ME WAIT 3 MONTHS AND THEN DO THE PROCEDURE AGAIN, AND THEN DO A BIOPSY IF HE SAW GROWTH CHANGES.
BOTH MY GENERAL DOCTOR, AND MY ONCOLOGIST, AND MY SURGEON, FELT WE NEED TO LOOK FURTHER NOW. SO I AM GETTING A SECOND OPINION NEXT WEEK AT 'HALLA' CENTRE, AND THEN IF THE TOP RADIOLOGIST THERE FELT IT IS NEEDED, HE WILL DO A BIOPSY ON THE SPOT.
ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT ALL THE FEARS, WORRIES, ARE BACK IN FULL FORCE. I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO PUT OUT THE 3,000 SHEKELS APPROX. AS MY KUPAH IS NOT COVERED. AFTER A BIT OF SOUL SEARCHING, I DECIDED I AM WORTH IT. SO I SAY TO MYSELF AGAIN-LIVE NOW THE BEST YOU CAN. I KNOW THAT EVENTUALLY, AND NOT TOO SOON AN EVENTUAL, I WILL LEAVE THIS PLACE, BUT I WANT TO LIVE AND SEE MORE GOOD THINGS IN THE FAMILY AND AROUND ME.
SOME ILLNESSES COME AND GO. BUT IN OTHERS, LIKE HEART PROBLEMS, CANCER, ETC., THE FEAR LINGERS ON WHETHER SURFACING OR NOT.
I PRAY FOR ALL OF US IN THIS SHIP, FOR COURAGE TO DEAL WITH IT ALL, AND HOPE ABOVE ALL.
G. BLESS
UNTIL THE NEXT TIME.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
NOV. 24-2-11 GROWING NOT OLDER, BUT 'UP'
SHALOM!
I AM CONSTANTLY AMAZED AT MYSELF. HERE I AM, IN LATER YEARS, AND I AM LEARNING NOW TO BE MORE AND MORE INDEPENDENT, TO DO THINGS I WOULD NEVER HAVE DARED TO DO BEFORE, TO LIVE AND LIVE AND TO ENJOY WHATEVER I CAN IN A MODEST AMOUNT. SOMEHOW, I WAS ALWAYS FEARFUL OF MAKING A MISTAKE, OF DOING THE WRONG THING, WHAT OTHERS WOULD THINK OF ME. AND NOW, SUDDENLY, I AM FILLED WITH MORE SELF-CONFIDENCE, AND DON'T WAIT FOR OTHERS TO FILL MY NEEDS OF 'SOMEONE TO GO WITH'.
PERHAPS IT IS THE RESULT OF LIVING THRU' AND WITH CANCER, WITH ALL THE AFTER-EFFECTS WHICH STILL ARE THERE IN DIFFERENT SHADES AND INTENSITY. I KNOW THAT I AM SO MUCH MORE COGNIZANT OF TIME RACING BY, SIMPLY RACING, AND OF MY LIFE'S LONGEVITY AT ONE END OF THE SPHERE.
AND SO, WHY DO I SHARE THIS WITH YOU? MOSTLY IT IS FOR MYSELF -BUT NONE OF US KNOW HOW LONG WE HAVE ON THIS EARTH, AND IF YOU TOO ARE HESITANT TO LIVE AND ENJOY THE SIMPLE THINGS ON EARTH OR THE NOT SO SIMPLE THINGS, PLACES, AND PEOPLE, I SAY-GO FOR IT. ALL WE HAVE IS NOW-YESTERDAY IS GONE-WE CAN'T CHANGE THAT. TOMORROW IS A QUESTION FOR ALL OF US-HEALTHY PEOPLE OR WITH AILMENTS. SO I AM TEACHING MYSELF TO ENJOY DAILY-A GOOD WALK IN THE SUN, TO SIT OUTSIDE IN A COFFEE SHOP ON NICE DAYS, TO READ WHEN SLEEP ELUDES ME, TO LISTEN TO GOOD MUSIC, WHATEVER YOUR OR MY TASTE.
BELONGING TO A CANCER GROUP WHERE WE LEARN PARSHAT HASHUVA AS WELL AS DISCUSS LIFE ISSUES, HAS LED ME TO MUCH QUESTIONING RE FAITH AND EMUNA. BUT I GROPE, READ, ASK NON STOP QUESTIONS, AND AM NOW WRITING MY OWN PRAYERS-IN HEBREW AND ENGLISH. OUR INSTRUCTOR HAS BEEN MOST SUPPORTIVE AND ENCOURAGING IN ALL THESE MATTERS, WHICH HAS SPURRED ME ON.
SO-TO ANY READERS-IF POSSIBLE, LET'S NOT CLOSE OURSELVES OFF FROM OTHER HUMAN BEINGS-COMMUNICATION, CLOSENESS, OPENESS IS SO IMPORTANT AS WELL AS OUR PRIVACY AND QUIET TIMES.
UNTIL WE MEET HERE IN MY BLOG NEXT TIME
BE WELL.
I AM CONSTANTLY AMAZED AT MYSELF. HERE I AM, IN LATER YEARS, AND I AM LEARNING NOW TO BE MORE AND MORE INDEPENDENT, TO DO THINGS I WOULD NEVER HAVE DARED TO DO BEFORE, TO LIVE AND LIVE AND TO ENJOY WHATEVER I CAN IN A MODEST AMOUNT. SOMEHOW, I WAS ALWAYS FEARFUL OF MAKING A MISTAKE, OF DOING THE WRONG THING, WHAT OTHERS WOULD THINK OF ME. AND NOW, SUDDENLY, I AM FILLED WITH MORE SELF-CONFIDENCE, AND DON'T WAIT FOR OTHERS TO FILL MY NEEDS OF 'SOMEONE TO GO WITH'.
PERHAPS IT IS THE RESULT OF LIVING THRU' AND WITH CANCER, WITH ALL THE AFTER-EFFECTS WHICH STILL ARE THERE IN DIFFERENT SHADES AND INTENSITY. I KNOW THAT I AM SO MUCH MORE COGNIZANT OF TIME RACING BY, SIMPLY RACING, AND OF MY LIFE'S LONGEVITY AT ONE END OF THE SPHERE.
AND SO, WHY DO I SHARE THIS WITH YOU? MOSTLY IT IS FOR MYSELF -BUT NONE OF US KNOW HOW LONG WE HAVE ON THIS EARTH, AND IF YOU TOO ARE HESITANT TO LIVE AND ENJOY THE SIMPLE THINGS ON EARTH OR THE NOT SO SIMPLE THINGS, PLACES, AND PEOPLE, I SAY-GO FOR IT. ALL WE HAVE IS NOW-YESTERDAY IS GONE-WE CAN'T CHANGE THAT. TOMORROW IS A QUESTION FOR ALL OF US-HEALTHY PEOPLE OR WITH AILMENTS. SO I AM TEACHING MYSELF TO ENJOY DAILY-A GOOD WALK IN THE SUN, TO SIT OUTSIDE IN A COFFEE SHOP ON NICE DAYS, TO READ WHEN SLEEP ELUDES ME, TO LISTEN TO GOOD MUSIC, WHATEVER YOUR OR MY TASTE.
BELONGING TO A CANCER GROUP WHERE WE LEARN PARSHAT HASHUVA AS WELL AS DISCUSS LIFE ISSUES, HAS LED ME TO MUCH QUESTIONING RE FAITH AND EMUNA. BUT I GROPE, READ, ASK NON STOP QUESTIONS, AND AM NOW WRITING MY OWN PRAYERS-IN HEBREW AND ENGLISH. OUR INSTRUCTOR HAS BEEN MOST SUPPORTIVE AND ENCOURAGING IN ALL THESE MATTERS, WHICH HAS SPURRED ME ON.
SO-TO ANY READERS-IF POSSIBLE, LET'S NOT CLOSE OURSELVES OFF FROM OTHER HUMAN BEINGS-COMMUNICATION, CLOSENESS, OPENESS IS SO IMPORTANT AS WELL AS OUR PRIVACY AND QUIET TIMES.
UNTIL WE MEET HERE IN MY BLOG NEXT TIME
BE WELL.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
OCT. 30-2011 ALONG MY JOURNEY IN LIFE
SHALOM!
AS I WROTE IN MY LAST BLOG, I AM SO ACCEPTING OF ANY OTHER AILMENT AS LONG AS IT IS NOT CANCER. BUT I SURE DO PAY THE PRICE. THE HIVES, WHICH SOUND SO TRIVIAL, ENDED UP IN A MAJOR RAVAGING OF MY BODY, MY LIPS, MY WHOLE BEING. IT WAS FIRST DIAGNOSED AS BUGS IN MY BED-THEREFORE, BOIL EVERY SHEET, TOWEL, CLOTHING ETC. MAKE PESACH TOTAL IN YOUR BED. DONE. -DIDN'T WORK. LEFT MY BED FOR A MONTH-WHEREVER I SLEPT, I WAS AWAKENED COVERED WITH HIVES FROM SCALP TO FEET. MY STOMACH WAS FINALLY LIKE A PATCH OF KALANIYOT. I COULD NOT WEAR UNDERWEAR PLUS...
AFTER ONE HISTAMINE, AND A STRONGER ONE, AND MANY DR. VISITS, I FINALLY ENDED UP IN 'TEREM' EMERGENCY, FOR EVEN A STRONGER HISTAMINE. LAST STOP WAS A ONE DAY TRIP TO A MAJOR ISRAELI HOSPITAL FOR FULL BODY TESTING FROM VARIOUS DRS., BLOOD WORK ETC. THANKS TO MY SON. IT SEEMS THAT ALTHO' I KNOW THAT I HAVE 'CHRONIC CUTICARIA'-THAT IS, I BREAK OUT EVERY FEW YEARS IN HIVES, WITH NO WAY TO KNOW WHAT IT'S FROM, THIS WAS A MAJOR ATTACK-IT SEEMS THAT MY IMMUNE SYSTEM (PROBABLY FROM THE CANCER TREATMENTS) WAS VERY LOW, AND THAT MY BODY WAS ATTACKING ITS OWN CELLS. SO I AM NOW ON HIGH STEROIDS FOR A FEW WEEKS. THANK G. TO FIND A DR. WHO KNOWS WHAT HE/SHE IS DOING. MORE TEST ARE YET TO COME, BUT I AM FINALLY SOMEWHAT HUMAN AFTER AT LEAST 3 STRAIGHT MONTHS OF 'TORTURE'.
I MUST LEARN TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ALL AILMENTS, ALTH' I DID. MY REGULAR DR. JUST POO-POOED IT EXCEPT TO GIVE ME A PILL AND SCARE ME THAT I HAD BUGS CRAWLING ABOUT ON ME AND WAS BITTEN. CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT FEELING?
I AM SLOWLY LEARNING TO ACCEPT MORE AND MORE THAT LIFE HAS ITS CONSTANT CONSTANT UPS AND DOWNS IN PHYSICAL HAPPENINGS, IN PERSONAL HAPPENINGS, IN LIFE ITSELF. I REALIZE MORE AND MORE WHEN I FEEL SO WEAK THAT NO WONDER WE ALL DIE AT SOME POINT-WE WEAR OUT. BUT EACH DAY I THANK G. FOR BEING ALIVE TODAY, AND TRY TO ENJOY AND LIVE WELL WHATEVER TIME I HAVE. SIMPLY SAID-A CHALLENGE TO DO.
TWICE IN THE PAST FEW DAYS I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT I AM NOW 'OLD'. I FOUND IT SHOCKING. I KNOW THAT I AM OF GOOD AGE-74, BUT OLD? I WANT TO LIVE AND LIVE AND SEE MORE GRANDCHILDREN GET MARRIED, GET BAR MITZVAED, ETC. SO SINCE I CAN'T TOTALLY CONTROL ANY OF THIS, I STRIVE TO EAT HEALTHY, TO EXERCISE, TO BREATHE, TO SMILE, TO LIVE, TO LEARN.
I SEND OUT MY SINCERE WISHES TO ANY READER FOR GOOD HEALTH AND A GOOD PAYING OF ATTENTION TO YOUR OWN NEEDS.
AS NOVEMBER IS ALMOST HERE, LET'S HOPE FOR GOOD THINGS.
AS I WROTE IN MY LAST BLOG, I AM SO ACCEPTING OF ANY OTHER AILMENT AS LONG AS IT IS NOT CANCER. BUT I SURE DO PAY THE PRICE. THE HIVES, WHICH SOUND SO TRIVIAL, ENDED UP IN A MAJOR RAVAGING OF MY BODY, MY LIPS, MY WHOLE BEING. IT WAS FIRST DIAGNOSED AS BUGS IN MY BED-THEREFORE, BOIL EVERY SHEET, TOWEL, CLOTHING ETC. MAKE PESACH TOTAL IN YOUR BED. DONE. -DIDN'T WORK. LEFT MY BED FOR A MONTH-WHEREVER I SLEPT, I WAS AWAKENED COVERED WITH HIVES FROM SCALP TO FEET. MY STOMACH WAS FINALLY LIKE A PATCH OF KALANIYOT. I COULD NOT WEAR UNDERWEAR PLUS...
AFTER ONE HISTAMINE, AND A STRONGER ONE, AND MANY DR. VISITS, I FINALLY ENDED UP IN 'TEREM' EMERGENCY, FOR EVEN A STRONGER HISTAMINE. LAST STOP WAS A ONE DAY TRIP TO A MAJOR ISRAELI HOSPITAL FOR FULL BODY TESTING FROM VARIOUS DRS., BLOOD WORK ETC. THANKS TO MY SON. IT SEEMS THAT ALTHO' I KNOW THAT I HAVE 'CHRONIC CUTICARIA'-THAT IS, I BREAK OUT EVERY FEW YEARS IN HIVES, WITH NO WAY TO KNOW WHAT IT'S FROM, THIS WAS A MAJOR ATTACK-IT SEEMS THAT MY IMMUNE SYSTEM (PROBABLY FROM THE CANCER TREATMENTS) WAS VERY LOW, AND THAT MY BODY WAS ATTACKING ITS OWN CELLS. SO I AM NOW ON HIGH STEROIDS FOR A FEW WEEKS. THANK G. TO FIND A DR. WHO KNOWS WHAT HE/SHE IS DOING. MORE TEST ARE YET TO COME, BUT I AM FINALLY SOMEWHAT HUMAN AFTER AT LEAST 3 STRAIGHT MONTHS OF 'TORTURE'.
I MUST LEARN TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ALL AILMENTS, ALTH' I DID. MY REGULAR DR. JUST POO-POOED IT EXCEPT TO GIVE ME A PILL AND SCARE ME THAT I HAD BUGS CRAWLING ABOUT ON ME AND WAS BITTEN. CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT FEELING?
I AM SLOWLY LEARNING TO ACCEPT MORE AND MORE THAT LIFE HAS ITS CONSTANT CONSTANT UPS AND DOWNS IN PHYSICAL HAPPENINGS, IN PERSONAL HAPPENINGS, IN LIFE ITSELF. I REALIZE MORE AND MORE WHEN I FEEL SO WEAK THAT NO WONDER WE ALL DIE AT SOME POINT-WE WEAR OUT. BUT EACH DAY I THANK G. FOR BEING ALIVE TODAY, AND TRY TO ENJOY AND LIVE WELL WHATEVER TIME I HAVE. SIMPLY SAID-A CHALLENGE TO DO.
TWICE IN THE PAST FEW DAYS I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT I AM NOW 'OLD'. I FOUND IT SHOCKING. I KNOW THAT I AM OF GOOD AGE-74, BUT OLD? I WANT TO LIVE AND LIVE AND SEE MORE GRANDCHILDREN GET MARRIED, GET BAR MITZVAED, ETC. SO SINCE I CAN'T TOTALLY CONTROL ANY OF THIS, I STRIVE TO EAT HEALTHY, TO EXERCISE, TO BREATHE, TO SMILE, TO LIVE, TO LEARN.
I SEND OUT MY SINCERE WISHES TO ANY READER FOR GOOD HEALTH AND A GOOD PAYING OF ATTENTION TO YOUR OWN NEEDS.
AS NOVEMBER IS ALMOST HERE, LET'S HOPE FOR GOOD THINGS.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
OCT. 3-2011 SOME THOUGHTS
HELLO TO MY BLOG :
AS time goes on, new challenges, and each one, however painful, bothersome, worrisome for the time, I keep reminding myself that this is not cancer, this is not cancer. Often it takes me time to have another test to reassure myself that this is indeed not a symptom of cancer in my body.
so hives, bladder infection, jaw pain, fatigue all continue to come and go, and I try to breeze thru' each new challenge. The regular breast examinations, pelvic and abdominal tests, keep me I hope under good observation.
My mind still grapples with faith-are we just mere human beings like the animals, the ants, the flowers, who have a certain amount of time on earth, partly in good health, partly suffering until the ultimate death which comes to all. Is there really an upper one G. who is setting out our individual trials and ultimate time of death? What/whom is G.? And so I read and read and observe people, nature, our faith and ponder constantly. Perhaps I will never have a definite answer-I know that I belong to our people, to our faith and tradition, and welcome that with open arms.
I will never take life for granted-each day, each hour is so very precious-to live and enjoy as best we can-to do some good while we can physically and mentally.
I pray for all those who are suffering for a recovery as best can be and for the strength to deal with what we must do.
Until the next time,
'bye for now
AS time goes on, new challenges, and each one, however painful, bothersome, worrisome for the time, I keep reminding myself that this is not cancer, this is not cancer. Often it takes me time to have another test to reassure myself that this is indeed not a symptom of cancer in my body.
so hives, bladder infection, jaw pain, fatigue all continue to come and go, and I try to breeze thru' each new challenge. The regular breast examinations, pelvic and abdominal tests, keep me I hope under good observation.
My mind still grapples with faith-are we just mere human beings like the animals, the ants, the flowers, who have a certain amount of time on earth, partly in good health, partly suffering until the ultimate death which comes to all. Is there really an upper one G. who is setting out our individual trials and ultimate time of death? What/whom is G.? And so I read and read and observe people, nature, our faith and ponder constantly. Perhaps I will never have a definite answer-I know that I belong to our people, to our faith and tradition, and welcome that with open arms.
I will never take life for granted-each day, each hour is so very precious-to live and enjoy as best we can-to do some good while we can physically and mentally.
I pray for all those who are suffering for a recovery as best can be and for the strength to deal with what we must do.
Until the next time,
'bye for now
Sunday, September 11, 2011
SEPT. 11, 2011 BEFORE I FORGET THINGS.....
SHALOM!
I SEE THAT WITH AGE AND WITH THINGS OF THE PAST, I FORGET AND I NEED /WANT TO REMEMBER THE SEQUENCE OF MY CANCER FOR MY OWN REASONS.
SO I HAVE GONE BACK AND I ENCLOSE A SEQUENCE OF IMPORTANT DATES (AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE TO ACCURATE) UP TO DATE.
OCT. 21-09 REGULAR YEARLY MAMMOGRAM -TURIM
IMMEDIATE ULTRA SOUND -ALL AT TURIM
IMMEDIATE BIOPSY AT MISGAV LEDACH
NOV. 30-09 -RIGHT BREAST OPERATION-SHAREI TZEDEK-DR. ULSHA- SURGEON
JAN. 10, 2010-BEGIN CHEMOTHERAPY-ONCOLOGIST DR. CHERNY-SHAREI TZEDEK
DOUBLE WHAMMY-EVERY 17 DAYS
JAN. 24-2010-GENETIC TESTING-SHAREI TZEDEK
MARCH 2011-I INSISTED ON PUTTING A PORT IN, AS I HAD A PROBLEM WITH MY VEINS, AND HAD SWOLLEN ARM ETC.
JUNE 14-2010-BEGAN RADIATION AT HADASSAH EIN KAREM FOR 3 WEEKS-5 DAYS/WEEK
SIDE EFFECTS ALONG THE PROCESS
-SWOLLEN ARM WHERE BLOOD IS TAKEN AND NEEDLES PUT IN
-BAD BREATH
-NAUSEA NON-STOP
-TINGLING OF TOES UNTIL NOW
-EXTREME FATIGUE UNTIL NOW
-RIGHT ARM AND SHOULDER VERY PAINFUL AND IMPOSSIBLE TO DRESS ETC.
FINALLY WENT TO TEL HASHOMER TO DR. MOSHE CHAIM DAHAN FOR 3 SUCCESSIVE
SHOTS IN SHOULDER OVER A LONG PERIOD OF TIME, FOLLOWED BY PHYSIO THERAPY UNTIL SEPT. 2011 WITH YOSEF AT MEUCHEDET-
NOW IN SEPT. 2011-FINALLY ALMOST NORMAL
-JAW FROZEN AND VERY PAINFUL-NO CURE EXCEPT MONTHS OF TIME-AND NOW
SEPT. 2011-NOT QUITE BACK TO NORMAL YET
-MENTAL FEAR OF DEATH/FEEL THE ANGEL OF DEATH ON ONE SIDE OF ME-FAITH QUESTIONED CONSTANTLY
-2 YEARS AFTER ALL OF THIS, FINALLY TOOK A TRIP TO MY ORIGINAL HOME BASE FAR AWAY
-NOW SEPT. 2011 STILL BEING CHECKED EVERY 3-4 MONTHS
-STILL JAW SOMEWHAT PROBLEMATIC
-FATIGUE STILL A KEY FIGURE
-TRYING TO BE OPTIMISTIC AND TO ENJOY LIFE
2009-2010-2011
IF THIS BLOG HELPS ANYONE OUT THERE. I AM PLEASED. IT IS MAINLY FOR MY RECALL, WHEN AND IF NEEDED IN THE FUTURE.
REFUAH SHLAIMAH /GOOD HEALTH FOR ALL READERS!
I SEE THAT WITH AGE AND WITH THINGS OF THE PAST, I FORGET AND I NEED /WANT TO REMEMBER THE SEQUENCE OF MY CANCER FOR MY OWN REASONS.
SO I HAVE GONE BACK AND I ENCLOSE A SEQUENCE OF IMPORTANT DATES (AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE TO ACCURATE) UP TO DATE.
OCT. 21-09 REGULAR YEARLY MAMMOGRAM -TURIM
IMMEDIATE ULTRA SOUND -ALL AT TURIM
IMMEDIATE BIOPSY AT MISGAV LEDACH
NOV. 30-09 -RIGHT BREAST OPERATION-SHAREI TZEDEK-DR. ULSHA- SURGEON
JAN. 10, 2010-BEGIN CHEMOTHERAPY-ONCOLOGIST DR. CHERNY-SHAREI TZEDEK
DOUBLE WHAMMY-EVERY 17 DAYS
JAN. 24-2010-GENETIC TESTING-SHAREI TZEDEK
MARCH 2011-I INSISTED ON PUTTING A PORT IN, AS I HAD A PROBLEM WITH MY VEINS, AND HAD SWOLLEN ARM ETC.
JUNE 14-2010-BEGAN RADIATION AT HADASSAH EIN KAREM FOR 3 WEEKS-5 DAYS/WEEK
SIDE EFFECTS ALONG THE PROCESS
-SWOLLEN ARM WHERE BLOOD IS TAKEN AND NEEDLES PUT IN
-BAD BREATH
-NAUSEA NON-STOP
-TINGLING OF TOES UNTIL NOW
-EXTREME FATIGUE UNTIL NOW
-RIGHT ARM AND SHOULDER VERY PAINFUL AND IMPOSSIBLE TO DRESS ETC.
FINALLY WENT TO TEL HASHOMER TO DR. MOSHE CHAIM DAHAN FOR 3 SUCCESSIVE
SHOTS IN SHOULDER OVER A LONG PERIOD OF TIME, FOLLOWED BY PHYSIO THERAPY UNTIL SEPT. 2011 WITH YOSEF AT MEUCHEDET-
NOW IN SEPT. 2011-FINALLY ALMOST NORMAL
-JAW FROZEN AND VERY PAINFUL-NO CURE EXCEPT MONTHS OF TIME-AND NOW
SEPT. 2011-NOT QUITE BACK TO NORMAL YET
-MENTAL FEAR OF DEATH/FEEL THE ANGEL OF DEATH ON ONE SIDE OF ME-FAITH QUESTIONED CONSTANTLY
-2 YEARS AFTER ALL OF THIS, FINALLY TOOK A TRIP TO MY ORIGINAL HOME BASE FAR AWAY
-NOW SEPT. 2011 STILL BEING CHECKED EVERY 3-4 MONTHS
-STILL JAW SOMEWHAT PROBLEMATIC
-FATIGUE STILL A KEY FIGURE
-TRYING TO BE OPTIMISTIC AND TO ENJOY LIFE
2009-2010-2011
IF THIS BLOG HELPS ANYONE OUT THERE. I AM PLEASED. IT IS MAINLY FOR MY RECALL, WHEN AND IF NEEDED IN THE FUTURE.
REFUAH SHLAIMAH /GOOD HEALTH FOR ALL READERS!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
AUG. 24-2011 MY JOURNEY
HELLO:
I HAD A CHECK-UP W. MY SURGEON MANUALLY, AND THANK G. O'KAY. NOW TO FOLLOW UP W. A MAMMOGRAM AND ULTRA SOUND, WHICH IS WHAT FOUND IT ORIGINALLY.
I CONTINUE MY FATIGUE TO THE EXTREME, AND WILL REQUEST FULL BLOOD TESTS TO SEE WHAT COULD BE CAUSING ALL OF THIS. I AM RELYING NOW ON SLEEPING PILLS UNFORTUNATELY, BUT OTHERWISE I SIMPLY DON'T SLEEP. HOPEFULLY, MY BODY WILL READJUST.
SO I AM HANGING IN THERE. TRYING TO ENJOY WHAT I CAN EACH DAY BEFORE I SIMPLY 'PETER' OUT AND STOP 'DOING'. HOPE THAT ANY READER HERE IS FEELING BETTER AND COPING AND ENJOYING WHAT SHE/HE CAN.
UNTIL THE NEXT TIME.
ALL THE BEST TO ALL OF US!
I HAD A CHECK-UP W. MY SURGEON MANUALLY, AND THANK G. O'KAY. NOW TO FOLLOW UP W. A MAMMOGRAM AND ULTRA SOUND, WHICH IS WHAT FOUND IT ORIGINALLY.
I CONTINUE MY FATIGUE TO THE EXTREME, AND WILL REQUEST FULL BLOOD TESTS TO SEE WHAT COULD BE CAUSING ALL OF THIS. I AM RELYING NOW ON SLEEPING PILLS UNFORTUNATELY, BUT OTHERWISE I SIMPLY DON'T SLEEP. HOPEFULLY, MY BODY WILL READJUST.
SO I AM HANGING IN THERE. TRYING TO ENJOY WHAT I CAN EACH DAY BEFORE I SIMPLY 'PETER' OUT AND STOP 'DOING'. HOPE THAT ANY READER HERE IS FEELING BETTER AND COPING AND ENJOYING WHAT SHE/HE CAN.
UNTIL THE NEXT TIME.
ALL THE BEST TO ALL OF US!
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