WHEN I WAS GIVEN MY DIAGNOSIS, I WAS TOLD: 'WELCOME TO THE CLUB.' I.E., the cancer club. My immediate answer was: 'I don't want any part of this-I don't wish to be a member of such a clan'. Well, from Oct. 21 to Nov. 22, I found myself yesterday going to my first meeting at Beit Natan. I was repulsed to attend, but did so, hoping that somehow I could see others coping so beautifully and more than that, to learn something from an expert oncologist.
I sat there, feeling different, not happy to be there, but curious like human beings are at times. We were 5 young women with young families, and my heart broke for them. 4 of us were older women, that is, mature women by age at least. The evening was informative, and I made a good contact with a woman next to me, who has gone thru' so much. I admire all these strong women. My own immediate family keeps telling me of all the successes in cancer operations and treatment, and poo-pooing my concerns. Yet, the head leader, kept referring to our 'illness' and to our ongoing worries and concerns. She knew that this is real for us, and without an immediate end, as others try to tell me. Facing an operation, and chemotherapy, and a period of oral drugs, and weeks of radiation does not sound cut and dry to me. And the reccurence of the cancer is many of those present, plus my own doctors telling me that yes, this worry will always be with us for the rest of our lives.
But life goes on. I took out books from their library on cancer, all free to borrow. I really don't know how I feel about it all-next week's operation is the focus for now. I was the only one there who was before surgery. So I saw lots of wigs worn to cover loss of hair, lots of talk re pills making one ill, etc.
I am busy continuing my life with stocking up in my home, soaking up some sun while walking, staying in contact thru' e mails, and this blog.
May the light of Chanukah approaching reach each and every cancer carrying woman and light our way. We need the support,the hugs, the calls, even by e mail.
Bye for now.
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Dear Chaya,
ReplyDeleteI won't pretend to know what you are going through. Only one who has been there can truly understand and empathize. But I want you to know that we found your words and thoughts to be beautiful and inspirational. You have shown such strength, such love for the things that we so often take for granted, and so much compassion for others that one can only feel elevated and blessed by your friendship.We cherish your friendship and want you to know that our prayers have been with you and will continue to be with you.We look forward to the day when this will be behind you and we can go out together to celebrate.
Love,
Judy and Marvin