THE SPACE OF TIME OCT. 21-NOV. 17 AND COUNTING

To anyone going thru' this waiting game, yes, it is unbelievable. On Oct. 21, I already knew that I have a cancerous gush, an aggressive one at that. But until today, Nov. 17, after many tests and numerous ultra sounds over and over again, I am still waiting for the end of the month hopefully, and not wanting it at all. That meant going to a book meeting, to a Shabat kiddush and learning session, to a week-end bar mitzvah of a dear friend's grandson, and saying not a word to any of them so as to ruin their special time.
Had I known that it would take this long to get the operation part over with, and that is only the beginning part, I probably would never have let my close friends know yet. I assumed that my surgeon would somehow push me in earlier.

Anyways, it is a wonder of life that I go on enjoying each and every moment of teaching, walking, breathing, laughing, and yet pondering constantly-will I live with all of this or after all of this operation, chemotherapy, radiation,etc. So many people tell me the good results for many women, and thank G. for that. But I know from the current literature, that not everyone does make it. And I STILL WANT TO LIVE. So I thank G. for all of you who are supporting me emotionally-I would hate to feel totally alone. Bless all of you who are going thru' a terrifying experience like me, and I pray for all of us to have the strength to deal with it and to overcome if the universe has decreed that for us. Not everything is in our hands, but I will use my hands and head and thoughts to help push myself along. I thank all the more devout people than me who daven for all sick people.
It's so appropriate and lucky for me to have found a learning group about Tehillim even before I was diagnosed. I wait eagerly for every Wed. to attend, and soak in the Tehillim of Shabat prayers that we usually say so automatically.

Well, I've rattled on enough for today. Thank you again for davening for
chaya bat Sara Bayla, and for all the sick.

A good month-chodesh tov=may Kislev bring us who need it so badly light to lighten our path.