JAN. 24-12 A DIFFICULT PERIOD

SHALOM!

I AM UPSET TO SEE HOW I CAN GET SO DEPRESSED WHEN THINGS ARE PROBLEMATIC. THE BIOPSY ON THE OTHER SIDE WAS SO HUMILIATING, AND DEGRADING FOR ME THAT I LEFT IN A TRAUMA. IF IT HAD BEEN EXPLAINED TO ME IN ADVANCE, AND IF THE NURSES, DOCTOR AND TECHNICIANS HAD SPOKEN IN ENGLISH AROUND ME AND NOT IN RUSSIAN, AND IF I WAS NOT SHUFFLED AROUND HALF UNDRESSED TO SIT IN A CORNER WHILE THE MACHINES WERE NOT OPERATING, AND IF THE ACTUAL BIOPSY HAD NOT BEEN SO DIFFICULT FOR ME, AND IT WAS. NOTICE, FOR SOMEONE ELSE, IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN EASY. BOTTOM LINE, IT LEFT ME TRAUMATIZED. NO RESULTS YET-ONE MUST BE PATIENT AND WAIT. I WASN'T WORRIED ACTUALLY, AS IT WAS A PREVENTATIVE MEASURE TAKEN, BUT THIS VERY EXPENSIVE EXPERIENCE WAS FAR FROM EASY FOR ME.

ON TOP OF THAT, MY CHRONIC UTICARA, HIVES ALL OVER MY BODY AND SWELLING OF LIPS, EYE, ETC. HAS RETURNED WEEKS AGO. IT SEEMS THAT MY BODY NO LONGER IS KEEPING ME GOING WELL AT THE MOMENT. SO I ALLOWED DEPRESSION TO OVERTAKE ME. MIND YOU, I DO TRY TO FIGHT IT DAILY. THE FATIGUE AS WELL LIMITS MY OUTINGS AND UNDERTAKINGS. BUT I DO WHAT I CAN. PERHAPS ALL OF THIS IS TO REMIND ME TO ALWAYS 'FEEL' FOR THE OTHER PERSON, NOT JUST IN WORDS OF 'I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER' , BUT TO TRULY UNDERSTAND THAT THEY MAY BE TRULY EXPERIENCING JUST DIFFICULT TIMES.

WHAT CAN I WISH ALL OF US IN THIS NEW MONTH OF SHVAT, WHICH INDICATES SPRING ON ITS WAY, THAT WE REGAIN A SPRING IN OUR HEARTS, OUR BODIES, OUR SOULS. I WISH ANY READERS AN UPLIFT OF SPIRIT, AND TO MYSELF AS WELL.

UNTIL THE NEXT TIME.